My World ODI XI

I have finally formed my extremely controversial World ODI XI. Have a look:

Sachin Tendulkar, Don Bradman, Jacques Kallis, Viv Richards, Michael Bevan, Garry Sobers, M S Dhoni, Wasim Akram (replaces Imran Khan, see note), Richard Hadlee, Joel Garner, M Muralitharan.

People who are conspicuous by their absence are W G Grace, Dennis Lillee, Malcolm Marshall, Andy Roberts, Wally Hammond, Jack Hobbs, Gordon Greenidge, Sydney Barnes, Shane Warne and a few more. The prime reason for their omission is that they have no or little exposure to the limited overs game. Don Bradman & Sobers, however, have been included because they are a class apart.
Openers like Greenidge have been omitted because their strike rate is lower than the 70 cut off set up by me for specialised batsmen. Shane Warne has been dropped in favour of Murali because the latter has a much better bowling average.

The inclusion of Kallis, Bevan and Dhoni would certainly raise many eyebrows. But Kallis is not only a good all-rounder, but he is also the Mr. Dependable. An alternative was Rahul Dravid, but Kallis can bowl on a seamer's wicket.
Bevan is perhaps the best limited overs player. Apart from having a batting average of 54 (strike rate 74), he is also an extremely useful player in the death overs.
Dhoni scores over Gilchrist because of three reasons. One, his batting average of 44 is better than Gilchrist with 36. Second, his strike rate of 99 is the best in the team (Gilc 95). Lastly, we cannot afford to give Gilc an opening slot in the current scheme of things.
Let me justify Tendulkar, which might be required in the current state of affairs. Apart from having a remarkable strike rate of 86 (batting avg 44), Tendulkar is a handy leg spinner too.

Note: I miss Akram in my team, as he like Garner, has the rare ability to control runs in the death overs. Also, he is arguably the best left-arm fast bowler ever. But whom do I take out?

Poetic justice for Shilpa Shetty?

Shilpa Shetty is very angry with the media. According to her, the Indian media has blown the Richard Gere kissing episode out of proportion. In her opinion, the media should have acted responsibly and not given so much attention to frivolous issues like this. Shilpa! Are you saying this? You of all people? You are the one who benefited most from the media hype surrounding racism in Big Brother. We all know that racism is much worse than some snide comments by Jade Goody. This was a game show. People will get nasty. And Indians are perhaps much worse when it comes to sarcastic remarks. What with all the lingo surrounding people who hail from North-east India? But since Shilps stood to benefit from all the hype regarding a helpless Indian being targeted for her skin colour, she added fuel to fire. Please note that Shilpa professed close friendship with Jade Goody after the show was over. It was nothing personal, just business. I don't deny that racism exists in Europe. It does. But that's a different issue. Here, Shilpa was never the champion of the fight against racism. She's back in India and I am sure that if a software engineer writes to her that he's being persecuted in Germany, Ms. Shilpa probably won't even reply. Just as all Miss Indias don't become Mother Teresas.
Shilpa should know that media presence is a double-edged sword. Only people like Mallika Sherawat and Rakhi Sawant can dare to wield it. Perhaps because the more they bleed, the stronger they get. I suggest Shilpa invests her crores wisely and retreats silently into the backstage. She's much better at item numbers than answering mediapersons.

Martians - our not-so-lucky neighbours

What if we are totally wrong about life on Mars? I mean, it is possible that life at Mars exists at a subterranean level. They may have huge colonies located some 2000 feet below the ground. And what we consider as a surface covered with iron oxide, might actually be their roof which has rusted beyond repair because of paucity of funds. The reason why Martians have not contacted us could be that they are too ashamed to meet their more prosperous neighbours. Imagine how a conversation would go in Martian families -

Son: Mom, one of the pets of the earthlings have again landed on our roof. Can I bring it in?
Mom: No! How many times have I told you? You'll learn when one of these bites you! These creatures are not safe, otherwise we would have got one for you.
Son: Aaaaah! You are always giving these excuses! I want a pet. I want a pet. (starts lashing his tentacles on the Martian floor)

Or,
Martian old guy: These earth guys are so snobbish I tell you. Just because they were lucky to have some intelligent men, they think their civilization is the best in the universe. Have they ever invited us to their Miss Universe parties? Our women are so much better than theirs.
Second Martian: Absolutely! Have you seen how they depict us in their popular culture? As if all we are interested in is invading their planet. I ask you, who sends their interfering space probes? Is it us or them? We might be less rich, but at least we have some sense of values.

Gliese 581 C - A new hope

Scientists actually scanned some 220 odd planets before they came across a habitable one - Gliese 581 C. The temperature here can sustain life and permits the existence of liquid water. Other planets had what scientists call the "Goldilocks problem" (I love the term). Basically, it means that they were either too hot or too cold. Although, I still maintain that life may also exist in planets with extreme conditions. Just like some creatures are able to sustain the immense pressure and no sunlight conditions of the ocean depths.
As I had earlier commented in my blog on extra-terrestrial life, the law of probability ensured that a habitable planet should exist. If I may extrapolate audaciously, the chances are around 0.45% (1 in 220). That should give scientists a new hope. Now they just need to build a vehicle that can travel really really fast. Something like this. Alternatively, if the inhabitants of such habitable planets are helpful, we can ask them to pick us up.

Earth's cousin found!

Finally, scientists have found a planet which can sustain life. Good! Now what do we do with it?
Considering that it is 20.5 light years away, it cannot be developed into a vacation spot. And even if it has intelligent life with a developed economy, Coca Cola cannot afford to sell soft drink there. So, no utility for hard core capitalists. What about politicians? The denizens of Gliese 581 C (that is the name of the new planet) have not launched an Earth invasion so far. And they are not considered an electorate too. So nothing interesting for politicians in Gliese 581 C. The only people who stand to benefit are science fiction writers. Although the theme of another earth has been used time and again by sci-fi writers, Gliese 581 C is an interesting planet. It is 15 times closer to its star than Earth to the Sun. But the planet is habitable as the star is a red dwarf, which makes it much cooler. Imagine watching a sunset in the Glieseian seas. And the drawings that Glieseian children would make of a scenic place. Also, an year in Gliese 581 C lasts for just 31 days. So you get to celebrate your birthday every month.
On a serious note, probably we can use this new planet, Gliese 581 C, to act as a backup server. I mean, if an asteroid is heading for the earth in the next 150 years or so, we can build a Noah's ark and save humanity. The weather at Gliese 581 C is much better than Earth (temperature ranges from 0 degrees to 40 degrees Celsius). It is something like a Bangalore of the universe. So life should not be too difficult. We can also try firing a rocket with some basic life forms in the direction of Gliese 581 C. That may start an evolution process there...unless it already has life. In the latter case, we might create a big problem - like when rats were introduced to the Polynesian islands. But we can afford to take that risk. That way, we'll have ready made horses and wheat plants by the time we reach Gliese 581 C.

The tragedy of the Kiwis

Yet another crusade of the Kiwis has failed. They have reached the Semi-finals of the World cup five times (1975, 1979, 1992, 1999 and 2007), but never managed to breach the wall to the Finals. And they have almost always managed to make their defeat look tragic. Their fate seems so similar to Karna in the Mahabharata...the chariot wheel gets stuck just when it matters the most.
Yesterday, Shane Bond failed to deliver. For a bowler whose ODI record is the best ever in the world, this does not happen every day. But it happened in the semi-final. In 1992, all was going well for NZ till a young Inzimam came along. The entire spin-pace juggernaut of NZ, which was so meticulously steered by Martin Crowe, was thrashed against the rocks. In 1979, they lost to England by a margin of 9 runs, which could have been easily avoided had John Wright been a little more enterprising. His 69 came in 137 balls.
They had their share of bad luck in 2007 too. First, Lou Vincent gets injured. He top scored against Sri Lanka in the warm-up matches. Then Styris, the leading scorer for NZ in the World Cup, injures himself and comes to the semi-final with his right hand taped like a mummy. Bond, on the other hand, is unable to play in the match preceding the semi-final. This, according to a commentator, could be a reason why he lost his rhythm. Finally, the pitch was bouncy when the last match was played. This could have helped NZ who prefer to play on such tracks. Yesterday, it was the dry pitch so typical of the Indian sub-continent. Probably, like Karna, Kiwis too are jinxed.

The curtain falls on a great master

Yesterday was one of the saddest days in world cricket for me. Brian Lara retired at the age of 37. Worst, he made only 17 runs in his last match, thanks to a tragic run out. A silly call by Marlon Samuels & a heartless throw from Pietersen pooped the farewell party. Read this article in the Hindu, it is a real tearjerker.
I wish Lara continued to play, at least for a couple of years. He still has a lot of cricket left in him. Tim Leede is still playing at 39, and his bowling average has got better in the last 20 matches. Who knows, Lara too might have prospered in a rejuvenated WI team.
More importantly, Lara could have fulfilled his dream of seeing West Indies back on the top again. They have got some good all-rounders after a long long time (Bravo, Devon Smith, Marlon Samuels along with the might of Gayle). While their bowling looks weak, the old lot will retire soon and new comers show a lot of promise (Pollard has a brilliant bowling average in List A & Lendl Simmons is not that bad). Then, allow me to get emotional, the next Joel Garner & Malcolm Marshall might be just around the corner.
Anyways, the sad truth is that all good things must come to an end and all greats have to retire. But the elegance of Lara remains unmatched. Given a choice, I would rather watch Lara's best innings than Tendulkar's or Mark Waugh's or perhaps even Richards'. Maybe we shall see him again in one of those Veteran matches, where Lara, Inzi and Tendulkar play side to side. Sigh!

The danger of the Miss Universe title

Come to think of it, the Miss Universe title can be a serious threat to the well being of Earth. What if other denizens of the universe take serious exception to it? What if the standard of beauty in the universe is vastly different? What if earthlings are the ugliest and most primitive living beings in the universe?
A civilization that is highly developed can sue us for false representation and fraud. We might have to pay with three trillion gallons of water. The cruder ones can just come in their spaceships and break a few metaphorical chairs. From what we have seen of Martian powers in Hollywood movies, entire continents can be wiped out for a trivial issue.
I suggest we open up the paegant to everybody in the universe so that all get a fair chance. Perhaps we can start with sending microwave signals for the next competition right now.

Five point development plan for India

This is something that I had been wanting to write for a long, long time. What would I have done if I were the Indian Prime Minister. Or, alternatively, in Gurcharan Das style, the five-point agenda to make India a superpower by 2020.

1. Public transport system - The objective is to lower the social cost of cars, contain traffic & lower our fuel consumption. The latter being most important, as this could greatly help in reducing our oil imports & our trade deficit. With lower fuel consumption, we can discard our obsession of building forex reserves (and hence strengthen our exports). The aim should be to create a punctual public transport system where women could travel in buses/trains.
2. River linking project - The aim is to control floods/droughts, harness river water for electricity & irrigation and prevent an inevitable water scarcity problem. It is as important to harvest the excess water as it is to link the major rivers. This project could result in a second green revolution if complemented by other steps (such as crop rotation), as a lot of arid area can come under cultivation.
3. Building a relevant education system - The objective should be to create a population base which is appropriately suited to the needs of our industry. Here, auto mechanics and carpenters are as important as engineers & MBAs. In other words, our vocational education system should be on the same pedestal as IITs, at least on the reputation front. Good workmen would contribute to improving the efficiency of the industry & incorporating innovative practices. The seeds of this kind of education, however, need to be sown at the primary level itself. This would also help in inculcating the value of dignity of labour amongst ourselves, which we so seriously lack. Then, it can go a long way in reducing the ever-growing income disparity in India.
4. IT implementation in Govt departments, e-governance - The aim should be to reduce red tape & corruption. The benefits are many 1) reduced time taken to set up a new business 2) less paperwork hence lower corruption 3) accurate records 4) lesser frauds 5) easy point of contact with officials, eliminating 'brokers' 6) a robust complaint redressal system and many more. This would make India much more attractive for foreign investors.
5. Infrastructure development - Much has been said about it already. Objective should be to reduce time spent at ports, toll booths & govt departments (IT can help in all of these). Bridges & highways are important too, but I see them improving already. Power is a concern, but river linking with run of the river projects can help. In the meantime, coal plants are the only way out, slowly upgrading to clean coal technology (India has vast coal reserves). A lot can be done by preventing power theft, but I can't think of an easy solution for it other than political will. In fact, energy & infrastructure are next only to political governance when it comes to India's weaknesses.

Extra-terrestrial life

I believe that, apart from Earth, there are planets where life exists in the universe. Such life may or may not be intelligent. It might only comprise simple organisms that display growth through metabolism, reproduction and the power of adaptation..like algae or bacteria.
The strongest argument for the existence of extra-terrestrial life is the sheer size and age of the universe. Probability favours extra-terrestrial life. One needs to bravely assume here that the essential characteristics required for life to begin and prosper are: 1) A star and a planet which is at a “healthy distance” from it, 2) the planet having a right mix of gases, along with water. With more than 70 sextillion stars, the chances of meeting these two criteria are quite high. And I might be a bit conservative here, as it is very well within the realm of possibility that life exists in extremely adverse conditions, such as a methane-dominated atmosphere.
But then there is the Fermi paradox: Where is intelligent life? Why haven't we seen/heard them? My answer to that is: Most life in the universe is not intelligent enough. We'll be lucky if we find a planet where evolution has even advanced beyond reptiles. Radio communication & space travel require very advanced stages of scientific development. Secondly, the timing of development of civilizations might be different. Perhaps earth was just inhabited by hydra when extra-terrestrial life contacted us. Or perhaps, the tales of Gods descending from the skies, which are abundantly scattered in almost every mythology of the world, hold a secret. Then, of course, there are the pyramids...in Egypt as well as Latin America, and their uncanny linkages to astronomy.
We might find life in the universe if science keeps on progressing, and if there is no catastrophic event before that. But what we discover might not be the stuff that Hollywood movies are made of.